3 Ways To Conquer Your Fear Of Judgment
Stop worrying about what others think of you and take control of the way you feel about yourself
At some point in our lives we are going to be affected by what someone else says about us. Whether it be at work, in social media or a social situation, it can be hurtful and leave us feeling vulnerable. We all strive for love and have a need to belong, these are two of our most basic needs as human beings. Fear of being judged comes from our desire to be liked by everyone at all times.
To avoid the possibility of being judged it’s common to use self-sabotaging behaviors like for example: Telling others what you think they want to hear instead of what you really want. Not speaking up in meetings or when in a group of people. Avoid telling your partner your inner desires and wishes. Avoid asking questions because you don’t want to stand out.
Over time, other people’s words and perceptions about us can end up shaping our own beliefs. An example would be to believe that it’s negative to be rejected or judged. This could lead to avoiding new people and missing out on many relationships, jobs and social scenarios. It could also keep us from expressing our true selves.
In this article I’ll share three ways to help you conquer fear of judgment.
Contents
- Whose Reality
- What You Believe You Receive
- Know Yourself Better Than Anyone Else
- Conclusion
Whose Reality
The way you act and react is based on your individual interpretation of the world. The information you receive has to pass through several filters and be incorporated with your beliefs, values and feelings. The outcome of all this is your “map” of reality that guides you through life.
Each person has their own map and their own version of reality. That is why you can never be sure of reality itself, you can only ever be sure of your own experience and personal interpretation of reality.
When you think about it, everyone’s reality is the creation of their own internal convictions and interpretations. And no one’s map is any more right or wrong than anyone else’s.
You are constantly comparing your map to other peoples when you interact. It’s often easier to understand and accept why other people act the way they do if you put aside a little time to study their maps.
Our version of reality is the creation of our conceptions.
People will always have opinions. By understanding that everyone possesses a different map, and are entitled to their own thoughts, is an important step in moving past any fear of being judged. It’s not about you, it’s about their map of reality!
What You Believe You Receive
Our beliefs lie within us and are something we choose to believe in. They are chosen truths we rarely question. We hold beliefs about ourselves, other people, our relationships, and what’s possible and what we’re capable of doing.
Beliefs often contain values, that something is good or bad. Our personal beliefs define what we can and cannot do and we’re often incapable of acting against them.
The only thing that is really needed to conquer that fear of judgment is to alter your beliefs. It may seem provocatively simple, but it’s the truth.
Your beliefs control your relationships with other people. Everything you see, experience, think and feel is adjusted to fit in with your beliefs. If you believe that someone dislikes you, although this person may say many positive things, you may fail to notice. It’s the brain’s job to select the information that confirms your beliefs.
Your beliefs abut yourself and your identity are the most important things affecting your life. If you believe that you are worthy of love and being well-liked, you’ll start to notice positive things people say and do for you. You will start to feel well-liked and loved, and so your belief is validated. May sound too simple to be true, but it’s how our beliefs work.
Limiting beliefs controls your life and prevents you from doing and getting what you want and becoming who you want to be. Start to notice and question your limiting beliefs that are holding you back.
Know Yourself Better Than Anyone Else
Other people’s opinions are not the same as facts and they don’t have to affect your life unless you let them. You can deal with other people’s opinions in a few different ways. You can confront them and challenge them. You can dismiss them and say that their beliefs are worthless.
The wisest thing to do is to just accept other people’s opinions and move on. It doesn’t mean you have to like it or approve of it, only that you accept it.
Don’t let anyone else define you. It’s important to be aware of our own strengths and weaknesses so that you are less likely to be affected by what others say or think about you. If you can be confident and trust yourself and your abilities, the impact of other people’s judgments will be irrelevant. Be the expert on your life and know yourself better than anyone else.
Conclusion
Many times, it’s not the external situation that is the issue, but rather your internal convictions and interpretations. It may seem provocatively simple, but it’s the truth.
To understand why you have a fear of being judged, you need to have an in-depth awareness of your personal beliefs. You can make a big change by altering your beliefs.
What if you could actually choose what you want to believe, if there wasn’t just one truth? My advice to you is to choose to believe all the things that make you feel good!
Invest in your own personal growth and well-being. Prioritize yourself and your needs and don’t let anyone else take control of the way you feel about yourself. The more you can feel genuinely good about yourself the more you can move away from any fear of being judged.
